when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
he was CRYING into my vagina
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
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