we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
