so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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