I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
