woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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