Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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