went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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