And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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