Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
