i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
