i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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