Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
