At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
