I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
