i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
