He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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