The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
