I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
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