D3 body, D1 cock
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Also, beer. Big fan.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize