id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
