Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I want you more than these girls want KFC
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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