I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I lost the right to judge tonight
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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