Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
