Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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