Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
