She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
As shirtless as possible
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize