I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
