I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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