is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
