So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
