Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
