I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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