lets start a swedish sibling band together
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
