Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Just pee around me
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize