I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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