I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
