You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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