I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
