We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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