I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
