She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
