Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
