remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize