My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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