I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
