My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Randomize