you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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