I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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