I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Randomize
