WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
