We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
