Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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