This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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