Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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