i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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