Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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