I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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