4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
