This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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