Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
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