Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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